NeverDateAVampire

The first thing that made Susan uneasy about her whirlwind romance was––everyone liked Derek.

“So, tell me, who is the luscious guy dancing with your mother?” Arnie leaned over the battered wooden bar and handed Susan a martini (gin, very dry, one onion), a slivovitz (with a twist of lime), and a diet coke.

“My fiancé, as a matter of fact,” said Susan.

“Really,” said Arnie. “I had no idea.”

“I was planning on waiting for you, darling, but you are taken these days, as I recall?’’ Susan eyed the drinks, trying to decide if she could balance all three or should make another trip, and avoid an icy bath.

“Yes, I suppose Eric might be irritated if I brought you home. Now if I brought home your fiancé….”

“Ha, ha.” She picked up the martini and slivovitz and headed for the table. When she returned for the cola, Arnie was still slavering.

“My, my, my, he does move nicely. But, Suzie, this guy does not seem your type.”

“Oh sure, I can see how this is going to go. But tell me anyway: why, pray tell, not?”

“Well, look at him; he’s smooth, he’s suave, he dresses in Armani, he drinks slivovitz…”

On the dance floor, her mother and her fiancé swirled in one another’s arms. They did make a striking couple, her mother dressed in a short black cocktail dress, her fiancé in his expensive suit coat.

“And I’m strictly blue jeans and coca cola?”

“Well, not blue jeans at the moment, girl, but …”

“I know what you mean. Don’t you believe in love at first sight?”

“Honey, you know I do. I think I’m in love now.”

“Arnie, knock it off.” As Susan picked up her drink, the music stopped, and her fiancé kissed her mother’s hand and led her back to the table. He pulled out a chair for her mother, and then pulled out Susan’s chair, bowing slightly from the waist.

“I can see where Susan gets her natural grace. Alice, I may call you Alice, may I? Alice, then, it was very kind of you to allow Susan and I to come to your book signing party.”

Susan’s mother stroked her hand across her flawless chignon. “I’m so surprised that you came; Susan, I believe this is the first time you’ve come to any of my signings.”

“Oh, it was my idea, Alice. I thought it might be just the place to meet you.”

“Darling, Derek is a charming man. So continental, so different from the boys you usually date.”

“Mother, I’m 29, I don’t date boys.”

“By comparison, dear, by comparison. I approve, if you’re seeking my approval. But your sister might hate him. She has execrable taste in men."

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